e-MOTIONology: The Mechanics of Human Emotion

I thought of myself as invincibly affected by distance not until this morning when I was lining up for a prerog of any available subject at IB. It was a circumstance-driven nostalgia which I wasn’t able to resist. I just broke into silent tears.

While I was waiting for my turn (there’s such indeed a never ending queue in that building), the guard ushered me in a big room towards the far end. As I looked around, there was not a single note of familiarity. I quietly sat down and waited for my turn. Being a first timer and obviously the eldest in a batch of students (almost undergrad) waiting in that room, echoes interfering one over the other brought a lot of discomfort in my already uncomfortable state. The two ladies behind me were talking about their grades… their regrets why they didn’t study harder. The other two English speaking young men seemed to be discussing social issues. Others were reading. Some were having fun. And the rest were oblivious, like me.

The November chill unmistakably suggested that there was a downpour outside. This just intensified the nostalgia. I looked up and whispered sweet nothings among ceiling fans and fluorescent lights. I literally counted the steel chairs. I scrutinized my enrolment papers. But the emotion spurred fast as a raging flood. Images and sounds were coming to my faculties. The smile of my two kids, their giggles, the good times we had together. My wife. I just found myself striding hurriedly out of the room, dialed my phone and like a helpless child, cried for comfort. All I know was I am not like this. I was tough. But being distant from my family for about a month now, I was caught all by myself. No friends…all by me.

So there is this question of why, in a man’s time, do we need to be emotional?

I remembered one lesson in psychology about emotion as an individual’s total response to a stimulus. And from this comes association. In my case, everything started with the nostalgic chill and then there were series of neural, physiological and several other swings which prompted me to burst into tears. Is this what they call “EQ”?

It was probably because of this experience that I was almost lost of what I was doing. I already had my papers assessed at OUR when I found out that I indicated the wrong unit for a course. I remembered that girl handling a placard at OUR’s entry point. It reads: “Patience is a virtue of the university. Pila.” She was right; I have been enrolling since Monday. And to think that I could finish it today, there again surfaced a discrepancy which would bring me back to a queue at OUR tomorrow. A BIG lesson learned for a newcomer.

Anyway, long ago but hope it will still help (me), Guilford (1964) suggested some tips in gaining emotional control:

• • Avoid emotions-provoking situations. Emotional responses are caused by stimuli.
  • Change the emotion-provoking situations. Attitudes maybe changed. Sometimes, removal of the source of the emotions may help.
  • Increase skills for coping with the situation. Many emotions arise because of inadequacy or inability to achieve goals promptly. (Well, this could have triggered, too. I was thinking all the while that I could finish enrolling on Monday so I could still have time to visit my family back in the province, but duh…ano petsa na?)
  • Re-interpret the situation. Sometimes the oversensitive type of person needs to analyze the actions and words of others.
  • Keep working toward your goal. It is natural for people to meet difficulties in the solution of problems.
  • Find substitute outlets. Substitute may give temporary relief.
  • Develop a sense of humor. Laughter often solves emotional problems.